"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." ~ Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own
So you're feeling stuck, like you've stumbled in your recovery.
Welcome to the club!
It can be a phone call received, a boundary breached, a seemingly dire situation that really didn't require our intervention.
Perhaps something our sons or daughters said sent us into a tirade or worse yet into one of our two-minute long pontifications!
The opening line of "Can't Help Falling in Love" sung way back in 1961 by Elvis Presley is, "Wise men say only fools rush in."
Sometimes we rush in. It doesn't make us foolish. It just means we're human, and we're parents.
There are two ways of looking at stumbles. This narrative will focus more on the inevitability of stumbles and how we can learn and even thrive as a result of these toe stubs. In a future post we can discuss how not to force, but rather Face the real issues that may lead us to temporarily lose our "balance."
Stumbles are bound to happen. We get tired. We don't eat well. We don't get enough exercise or sleep. We watch too much News (or we watch the News). We are stressed at work or unemployed. The bills are piling up. The dog chewed the toilet paper again and the remnants are everywhere - a metaphor for something but let's not get sidetracked!
The inevitable occurs and we lose sight of our pathway, take misstep after misstep tumbling down the hillside to a familiar briar patch, gully, or God forbid, that jungle we remember all too well.
Remember the game Chutes and Ladders? Remember that damned slide?
Stumbles are a lot like that, only with quite a bit more intention than chance involved. But, like the slide in Chutes and Ladders stumbles are less a reflection on who we are as human beings and parents, or how authentic we are, or even how attentive to our own recoveries we have been, or even how well we play the "game." Rather, the slide and stumbles are part of the game and a integral part of our recovery.