Friday, May 16, 2014

Bliss: The "F" Word Cubed!

"If humankind would accept and acknowledge its responsibility to become creatively engaged in the process of evolution, consciously as well as unconsciously, a new reality would emerge and a new age could be born."    ~ Jonas Salk

Any one of us on the parental road to recovery must proceed down pathways toward changes of the evolutionary kind. Consciously or unconsciously we all eventually become creatively engaged in the pursuit of building for ourselves a new reality.

It requires inspired creativity to change behaviors and attitudes. It takes inspired creativity to be grateful in the midst of chaos.

Inspired creativity is needed to give all the bile, verbal vomit, spew, anger, sturm and drang, negativity, lies, and other drama directed at us by the addict to a Higher Power, God, the Universe, something Greater than we can ever be. This inspired creativity mixed with a bit of courage is requisite for taking those first few steps for moving on and living life.

In a previous post we discussed the dreaded concept of FUN, that "F" word to many of us who had handed over our lives to our children's addictions.

Let us now take this a step further.

What makes us … blissful?

Merriam-Webster defines bliss very simply as "complete happiness."

The Germans have a word for this. It is Gemutlichkeit, roughly translated by English dictionaries as amity, comfort, coziness, benevolence, cordiality, brotherhood. My German teachers explained that Gemutlichkeit is a term untranslatable into English defining it as a state of calmness, contented in oneness with a person's surroundings and companions. Gemutlichkeit is as close to Zen as the Germans will admit to approaching. This sense of "beyond happiness" once achieved, extends past our own small worlds to those around us. It can be argued that Gemutlichkeit is what we are looking for as we strive not to enable our children, but to be the beacons our newly-formed lives can be to spur them on to see what the Universe has for them outside of their addictions.

So what makes us blissful, what moves us to that Gemutlichkeit-like (try saying that 10 times fast) state of mind?

Examples can include grandchildren, hugs from spouses, hugs from kids, cool summer mornings, visiting a museum for the first time in years, stepping back to watch interactions between friends, teeing off in the 1st tee-box when the dew is still on the ground (OK, that's one of mine), immersing ourselves in a favorite hobby, relaxing poolside, experiencing a favorite meal with friends, or walking the dog through a nature trail and being "surprised" by Nature.

Start a list, just 3 or 5 blissful situations to begin with. Fight, yes fight every week to experience at least one of your blissful catalysts if you can. Be gentle with yourself. This is not a test, but rather an opportunity to live and grow. True self nurturing  doesn't come easily to any of us but once we get started we'll want it more and more.

Our children who brought us to this journey will be better for it.

…  keep coming  back

"The miracle will happen and then you'll want it to happen again tomorrow!"     ~ Bill Murray as Frank Cross in Scrooged