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"Sokath - his eyes uncovered." ~ Captain Dathon, Star Trek, the Next Generation: "Darmok"
Robert Frost may have gotten it right for most in his poem "The Road Less Travelled," but for those of us who have been brought face-to-face with The Addiction, always concentrating on just one road may not be the best formula for our happiness or that of our sons and daughters.
I've written about this poem and how critical it is early on in our journeys as parents of addicts to take the pathway most would think to be selfish, cruel or even self destructive to ourselves, our children and our families. It's the leap of faith we take almost daily as those parents, whether our children have just entered the cloud forest of addiction, have commenced the long, slow crawl out of the bog or even begun one of many possible recovery journeys.
We decided the life the Universe has awaiting us is worth living. When we finally emerged from the shadows of The Addiction we were able to take care of ourselves. And in another of many crazy counterintuitive twists along our journeys of parents of addicts we found we were finally able to look through the haze of addiction's angry and deceitful pall to see our children, lost, struggling and in pain.
Eyes opened, we were able to behold our children with love and compassion.
This led us to another pathway we could take, a fork that takes us closer to our children, for a time, while we remain near and true to our journeys. From this position we have full view of our children, keeping them close without being on their pathway. We may observe without getting in the way, interfering or worse, inserting ourselves into our children's business. It can be a beautiful pathway but with dangers along the way if we pay too close attention to our addicts and abandon our journey - a giant leap backwards from the progress we have made.
There is an 8 mile running/cycling trail near where I live that includes a branch I call the Nature Trail, a one-third mile diversion from the somewhat exposed main trail, flanked by forest and wetlands on one side and bordered by a creek on the other. It is a beautiful diversion from the bustle of the runners, walkers, cyclists and skaters, visible 200 meters or so through the trees. This nature trail is not without its pitfalls. A portion has been partially washed out by the creek and has been cordoned off, unsuccessfully, by the park service. Intrepid runners can access the forbidden zone, carefully, through well-worn paths around the orange barriers at either end.
The adventurous must take care and be mindful of the entry pathways and the ever expanding washed-out portion of the detour. Once past these obstacles the traveller may concentrate on their current path while also keeping an eye on the multitudes on the main trail if they wish. It's a beautiful diversion, this pathway. It is a new pathway true to my current journey that allows me to remain connected to the mainstream.
So allow yourself the freedom to take the Nature Trail. See new beauty in your life that you may not have otherwise experienced. Your beloved children will be right ... over ... there - just beyond the trees.
. . . keep coming back
"If I had my life to live over again, I would ask that not a thing be changed but that my eyes be opened wider." ~ Jules Renard
