Listen

"If you hear the song I sing; You will understand (listen!); You hold the key to love and fear; All in your trembling hand; Just one key unlocks them both; It's there at your command." ~ From "Get Together", The Youngbloods; Written by Chet Powers

'Tis the season for frantically cooking, shopping, decorating and traveling. We can become almost mindless in celebration of our various traditions which if done in moderation, can be an enjoyable, good thing. Traditions with friends, family and community are quite often the glue that holds us together as human beings. It's important to hold dear the conventions handed down through generations and to also introduce new, original, fun ways to usher in the holidays.

All this can be daunting, trying to keep up with the arrival of whatever holiday is pending. We can tend to shut everything else out in pursuit of perfection. We can become so focused on the immediate steps to get "there" we abandon everything else. We can even temporarily push away friends, family, and community in pursuit of that PERFECT holiday. It's easy.

What's even easier is to first shut out The Addiction. Who has time to deal with THAT during the holidays? The Addiction, our babies, can become the first casualty of the holiday rush. We don't mean to. Call it human nature. We can only keep so many plates spinning during a time of the year when APPEARANCE can override what is important - right?.

We know the holidays provide a perfect Petri dish for germinating depression and encouraging isolation. Sometimes our sons and daughters who have entered into the spiral of The Addiction and those who are in recovery choose isolation as a means of protection from temptation, from social contact, from LIFE. So how do we know the difference between normal holiday angst and the added heapin' helpin' of anxiety, and sometimes even anger The Addiction can introduce?

We must take the time to listen. Listen to the verbal and non-verbal cues our sons and daughters are sending. We can see it in their body language along with their spoken responses to the holidays. There may be a lot of I'm not worthy going on here. They may already feel as though their place as human beings for leading a fulfilled life has disappeared with The Addiction. As they see the celebrations, the camaraderie, the family, the addicted and recovering might be pulling away from life even more than before. We can, we must take the time to include, to include our addicted and recovering in our lives during this time. If we are truly listening to the songs they are singing and allow ourselves to empathetically feel their pain, we can find it in our hearts to reach out, invite them in, put our metaphorical or physical arms around them and let them know this time is for them as well.

We may not get a response, not right away, but the message is there: you ARE part of us, you matter, we love you.

Happy Holidays!

. . . keep coming back

"Knowledge speaks, but Wisdom listens." ~ Quero Apache Prayer